Maafkan saya.....

Maaf karena saya terlalu lama membiarkanmu melewati pergantian hari tanpa cerita...
Saya bukan melupakanmu, dan melarutkan diri dibawah terik.Saya tidak menari, tidak juga bersenandung karena itu saya lakukan hanya bersamamu..

Tidak ada yang mengerti saya layaknya kamu.Melindungi saya dan memberi seekor kecil kuku kematian yang redup remang yang selalu membawa saya kembali
Bersamamu saya tidak takut menjadi hitam dan saya merasa begitu sempurna, sekalipun hanya menjadi abuabu, bukan putih.

Catatan ini tak berarti apapun dibanding kebisuan yang menyenyakan
Seperti ditopang kiloan kapas,Begitulah saya mengartikan hubungan kita…

You should know by now...

You outta know by now..love is the look in my eyes loving the way you smile
when i say..... i wish you would stay

you bring out all the youth in me, i laugh and cry out all the truth in me
i allowed...you should know by now

Haven't you felt by now? Just what it's like to belong.Knowing that certain touched
when your show... time won't give you more

You bring out all the best in me.i want to hold you till u feeling me.somehow, you should know by now...

if i can just find the word i won't be left so lonely,if you are my only...then i show you how.....

hasn't it cross your mind?
haven't you know it all the time?
honestly tell me now has it show how much love has grown

i tremble at the side of you, i want to learn to love you through and through
this time i vow....you should know by now....

Don't you think you should know by now?

Miss you and love you sweetheart!!

Things that make you..... *sigh*

Part 1

A lie.

I will love you for your honesty. Tell me everything you are thinking. Tell me everything I do wrong. Make all of your thoughts clear, illuminate all of your motives. Forget politeness, forget ambiguity, forget vulnerability. Never compromise yourself, the truth, reality. Don't pretend. I want to learn from you. I will never learn if you pretend I am doing fine. I will accept all of you. The only thing I value is the truth.

Can you be true?



Part 2

Sigh, grin. Sigh, grin.

It isn't the perfect way to experience a relationship, I know that now.

At the time, it was better then the alternative. That perhaps we weren't right together, and that truth was sinking slowing into me, I could feel it with every breath we shared, every touch and every blanket-wrestle at midnight.

I could feel it in me, like gangrene forcing itself at my heart, but I never thought of stopping it, because the only way to stop it was to cut it out, and that would hurt, and afterwards, how would I live, could I live, without a heart?

And sometimes, if you just watch the hurt work its way through your life, sometimes, sometimes it isn't so painful.

Coffee, notebooks and cigarettes was how it started. I laughed when I saw you, the ashes falling over your chin. Were you trying to make a story out of me, I asked, and you said yes, if you could, you promised, you'd write a whole series.

Well, I'm going now, so I want to know. Have you got your book now? Can you make a series?

i'm broken....

Assalamualaikum,

I'm not ok but trying my best to be ok....i'm very dissappointed with some people who are so selfish!!! They don't think about anybody's feeling but their own!! Damn it!!!

We used to be good friends...and we were so close like brothers and sisters!! We shared all the pains and happiness!!!As far as i remembered i'm the only one who trying so hard to please them!! but they have been swept away by all the attentions that been given by me...and it's so exhausting!! but no matter what i will stand up for our friendship!!

On my 35th birthday this year....only a few of my so called 'buddies' had given me a birthday wish and most of them hardly wished me a happy new year!!!We've been celebrating new year for the past 10 years and why they forgot to wish me this year? What make it so different? Just because i'm having a really great life right now? They should be proud of me then!!! but why they remain silent??

You know what? This year i've promised myself not to bother about them anymore!!! I have to live my life as it is...and i don't have to please anybody right now...i just have to take care of myself, my families and my job!!

I will fullfill my pagal life with things i love to do and i'll make sure i'll be surrounding by people who love me for me and i'm ready to give some loves to anybody who really can make me happy....He doesn't have to be rich or wealthy but at least has a job!!! hahahahhaa....seriously....

I'm welcome anybody to be my friends or lovers....and its not impossible if we could fall in love...as long as you know how to make me laugh!!! You don't have to be a joker to be my friends...all i need is a lil bit of your time and attentions...and i just need u to acknowledge me as your friends...and you don't have to buy me flowers and you don't have to sing me love songs....i just need your sincere heart and take me as i am...sometimes i'm a lil bit bitter but most of the time i can be someone that u can never imagine i can be....

If i love someone i can't tell him how i feel..but i can show him how is it like loving someone so much till its hurts...

But now i'm broken...coz you don't feel me in here ...anymore!!
There's so much to learn and no one left to fight...
i'm really broken now and i don't feel like i'm strong enuff.....

I am ready for love, Why are you hiding from me,I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity

I am ready for love, All of the joy and the pain,And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace, Lately I've been thinking Maybe you're not ready for me, Maybe you think I need to learn maturity...
They say watch what you ask for cause you might receive But if you ask me tomorrow
I'll say the same thing...

I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won't complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here

If you give me half a chance
I'll prove this to you
I will be patient, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music
A man who loves art
Respect's the spirit world
And thinks with his heart

I am ready for love
If you'll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can

I am ready for love
Here with an offering of
My voice
My Eyes
My soul
My mind

Tell me what is enough to prove I am ready for love

I am ready

i miss you

I miss you.

I miss your touch and your smell. Your voice telling me my bad day would end.

I miss having lunch with you. Listening to your stories and laughing, forgetting about myself.

I miss crying when you hurt, laughing when you're happy, and being down when you're sad.

It seems so long ago, that you and I could talk. You never took me for granted. So many times I blew you off to have fun, and so many times you sacraficed everything for me.

Now I'm alone. Often I sit here wondering where you are and what you're doing.

It's such a hard life most of the time that I'm not living, just surviving. This is why I want you to know that in this world where sincerity has lost its meaning, you fill my world with so much hope.

You know that I miss you and this is all I want to do. I know it doesn't sound too cool but maybe I'm in love with you. I just miss you. Yes, it's true baby, I miss you. When you walk out that door all I know is I miss you and you make me want to ask for more. I miss you, baby.

I miss the way you smile at me and how peaceful you look when you sleep
I miss the way you brush my hair and how tenderly you kiss my lips.

A day seems like two and a week seems like a month
I know I will see you soon and hear your voice sooner, but I still miss you.

Holding someone's hand is like coming home..

Assalamualaikum...

How are you today? i'm recovering from my fever and flu...Alhamdulilah...its getting better now...and suddenly i missed the feeling of being in someone arms...i missed the feeling holding someone's hand and i missed everything that i don't think i'm gonna feel that same way again.....its really a heartbreaking kan? Well, let me share with you how do i feel when someone held my hand.....

The feeling of holding someone's hand, the hand of someone you are enamoured with is amazing. The last time I held someone's hand (in that way..) I remember feeling as if electricity was going through my body. He took my hand, and looked at my palm in his. Then he took my finger and placed them to his lips and kissed them gently. I traced his lip-shape, and literally shivered. I never felt so safe, happy, and loved.

It's walking down the street, my hands in his pockets. It's in the way he looks at me and the way his smile widens. It's in the way he laughs and the word mouse. It's when I'm on his couch, wearing his socks, feet on amp and he is lost in thought, hand in hair, squeaking chair. It's sitting next to him at dinner, and he is talking to his friends, and my foot is upon his. It's in nibbling his ear, and kissing his nose.

It's in the arch of his spine and the moist film upon his skin. It's in the way his pupils dilate and the depth of his eyes; when he holds me, moving his hands over me, sculpting me. It's his scent that infuses me, the way we touch, feeling him pressing against me. It's the feeling of his hair in my hands, his breath on my neck, his fingers entwined with mine. It's in the warmth, the passion, the heat.

It's in the way he is the underlying aura of everything I do. It's in the way I think of nothing but him and the way I want to talk about nothing but him. It's in having him.