Things that make you..... *sigh*

Part 1

A lie.

I will love you for your honesty. Tell me everything you are thinking. Tell me everything I do wrong. Make all of your thoughts clear, illuminate all of your motives. Forget politeness, forget ambiguity, forget vulnerability. Never compromise yourself, the truth, reality. Don't pretend. I want to learn from you. I will never learn if you pretend I am doing fine. I will accept all of you. The only thing I value is the truth.

Can you be true?



Part 2

Sigh, grin. Sigh, grin.

It isn't the perfect way to experience a relationship, I know that now.

At the time, it was better then the alternative. That perhaps we weren't right together, and that truth was sinking slowing into me, I could feel it with every breath we shared, every touch and every blanket-wrestle at midnight.

I could feel it in me, like gangrene forcing itself at my heart, but I never thought of stopping it, because the only way to stop it was to cut it out, and that would hurt, and afterwards, how would I live, could I live, without a heart?

And sometimes, if you just watch the hurt work its way through your life, sometimes, sometimes it isn't so painful.

Coffee, notebooks and cigarettes was how it started. I laughed when I saw you, the ashes falling over your chin. Were you trying to make a story out of me, I asked, and you said yes, if you could, you promised, you'd write a whole series.

Well, I'm going now, so I want to know. Have you got your book now? Can you make a series?