Do you care?

Assalamualaikum,


Sihat? Me? Alhamdulillah..... See!! everytime i start my blog i'll asked u ... how r u? that means i care, right? because this is me...

I can't understand how people have as much apathy as they do. I wish that I could stop caring about things. The casual attitudes towards learning, working, driving, loving, and hundreds of other things amaze me. It's not even that the people have convinced themselves that they shouldn't care, they just never had the thought in their little heads that they should.

They said this should do the trick, accepting it. I'm not sure. I know I'm supposed to let it slide, that's all I'm ever telling myself, go with the flow, roll with the punches, take it as it comes. And I try, I do try. I'm just not sure it's hurting less now.

Time has a way of making it go away, they say. After a while it won't seem as wrong, or as painful, or as strong. I'm still not sure if it makes sense, but how can I say? I guess I haven't accepted it, my mind is still full of likely and surely and that's not how it is.

That's just denial, that's just desperate self-deception, they say. Still. Hush. Stop. I think I like the pain too much to give it up. I think the pain is keeping me here. I think the pain is the pull, because it helps me know I'm alive, even though somewhere else (everywhere else) I'm numb.

Sometimes i wish i could just not care......the more i care about you the more its gonna hurts me.... but do you care?