Wednesday, July 29, 2009





Last night habibi called me and the line was so bad.

Habibi : Baby, online now!!online now!! sayang!!!
Me : Sayang!!! ok!!! ok!! i get online now baby!!!

When we got online and the internet connections was bad too!!!but Alhamdulilah at least something rather than nothing but half way thru the internet got disconnected!! I was so sad coz i don't hv the chance to know how he's been doing.

Habibi : Sayang!!! how r u been doing?
Me : Alhamdulilah...alhamdulilah i'm ok!! how about u baby?
Habibi : Alhamdulilah i'm fine. Hows ur health?
Me : Alhamdulilah...i'm still under treatment..but don't worry ok insyalah i'm how's ur parents sayang?
Habibi : Alhamdulilah...they are ok!!!
Me : Alhamdulilah so glad to hear that!!
Habibi : But i'm not ok
Me : Hah? Why?
Habibi : Its ok..just a lil problem..
Me : Why baby? tell me!!! tell me!!!
Habibi : i will tell how's ur mom?
Me : Owh..her BP is 180/100 this morning!! layla took her to the clinic and Alhamdulilah she's ok!!!
Habibi : Baby, u take care of urself ehh...
Me : Anyway, baby what's wrong with u? tell me laa

And his internet got disconnected!! and i was so upset!! and i'm waiting for him to online again from 11pm till 4am...then i went to my room and lying on my bed and try to close my eyes but i can't stop thinking about him..then i cried.. 'Ya Allah..please tell me why he's not ok? Ya Allah!! i missed him so much!! i wish i could talk to him longer!! Ya Allah!! you know how much i missed him!!! Ya Allah!! pls get him to call me!!! then i cry till i fall asleep!!!

My phn rang!!

Habibi : Good morning Sayang!!!
Me : Baby!! (almost jump off from my bed)
Habibi : Sayang!! i'm sorry about last nite the line was so bad here!!!
Me : Its ok baby!!! i'm so glad to hear ur voice this morning!!!Miss u!!
Habibi : Miss u too!!! Insyallah sayang!!!Tomorrow i will try to get online yaa!!!
Me : Ok baby!!! so What's wrong with u sayang? i'm really worried about u!!!
Habibi : Don't worry baby!! i just had small now i want u to get up and take ur shower and go to work!!!
Me : Hey!!sayang!!! its raining here laa!!I'm going in late laa!!!
Habibi : No baby!! u go to work now!!! and move ur ass now!!! hahahhaaa
Me : Ok baby!!! thanks for calling!!! so glad to hear ur voice baby!!!
Habibi : ok Sayang!! Insyallah!! i go online tomorrow eeh...take care sayang!!! Assalamualaikum!!!!
Me : Walaikumsalam!! Take care sayang!!!

Wallahi!! i'm so happy this morning and my lips never stops saying Alhamdulilah..Alhamdulilah..Alhamdulilah...Thank you Allah!!! Thank you so mucchhh!!!! Get myself ready to work and eventhough its raining, the LRT's escalator was not functioning, there's only 2 elevators available and i hv to compete with a lot of ppl to get into the office by 9 but i don't bother coz he called!!! yes!! his called mean a lot to me!!! Alhamdulilah!!! Alhamdulilah!!!Alhamdulilah!!!


A great reminder..


I've been receiving a lot of emails, YM messegers and sms (so funny no phn calls..hahahhaa) its regarding about my sickness...Yes, i have breast cancer but its at stage 1...not that serious insyallah it can be cured...insyallah..Do not panic!!!

I'm not gonna talk about my sickness coz i want to move on and live life as it is..The doctor advised me to spend at least 2 hours watching comedy movies...hahahaa..they said i need to laugh and do things thats make me not watch any news on tv or watching any sad not read any heartbreaking news on the paper just read read the gossips column will be enuff for me...Wah!!! that's really strange because those are prety normal to me this is what i do everyday...but why i have cancer? Allah has the answer!! Allah is Great!!! I took this as a reminder so that i know how much He loves me and He gave me this a lil piece of test in my precious life as His servant to make me belive that He wants me to get closer to Him..

I've never regret it coz i know He's the Greatest and always Watching over me..He answered all my doas ...Alhamdulilah..Alhamdulilah...Alhamdulilah...but He left 1 doa on hold...that is my doa to marry the person i love the most.. He knew how much i love this guy and He knew what's best for every prayers i ask Him if this person wasn't for me please help me to let him go...please help me Ya Allah to forget this guy and bring peace into my life..amin..

I've read a lot of blogs and books and i've listened to some people's advised and all i can understand is the more you get closer to Allah the more He tested you..This is good because the more you being tested by Him the more you believe in Him and love His blessing and believe that He is the Only One you can turn to..and i do believe that He's a good listener...He is Ar Rahman Ar Rahim...

He is the Only One who never breaks your heart eventhough so many times you forget about Him especially when you think you are living in a great forgot who gave you such life and who make everythings in your life runs smoothly?

I got this article from SaqibSaab blog..its very interesting..

The closer you come to Allah (SWT), the bigger your tests!!!!

If we look at the lives of people in history who were closest to Allah, we find that the higher their level was, the more often and severely they were tested.

Shaykh Riad Ourzazi brought up examples of the past. Prophet Nuh (AS) spent a third of his 950 year long life crying from being rejected by his people. Yaqub (AS) had to face the possibility of his most beloved sons being murdered by his other children, weeping to Allah (SWT). Musa (AS) had to rise up against the biggest tyrant ever in history. The Prophet’s (SAW) and the Sahaba’s lives, we know, were filled with trials and tribulations. And the same goes for the many stories of pious people throughout history.

As you live life trying to become a better Muslim, increasing your knowledge, good deeds, and Iman, you will find the tests getting bigger and bigger. If this is the case, then smile. :)

That’s right, be relieved! It’s a good thing; it shows that Allah loves you. From the examples of the past it’s clear that the ones tested the most and the hardest were the ones that Allah loves. So if you find yourself afflicted by something terrible, be happy and thankful that Allah is giving you a sign that He’s pleased with you and a chance to prove your worth to Him.

The tricky part is realizing this during the test, and the reason why it’s important to learn and absorb this idea now to be prepared for when the storm of difficulties hits you.

But if you feel you’re not being tested or you can’t identify any big tests in your life, then check your Iman because you’ve got some problems. May Allah (SWT) help us recognize our tests, pass them, and get closer to Him.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “If Allah wants good for his servant, He hurries on His punishment in this world, and if He wills ill for a servant, he holds back punishing him for his sin so He can give it to him in full on the Day of Resurrection.”

Ultimately, we must remember the words of Allah in the Qur’ân: “He cannot be questioned for what He does but they will be questioned.” [Sûrah al-Anbiyâ’: 23]

Monday, July 27, 2009

Every heartbeat - Robyn

I love this song by Robyn which i just heard from my fav tv show called The City...i've catched some lines in this episode,

'The most important relationship u hv to deal with is urself' .. very true!!!and this song came right up!! hahahahaa....i love the lyrics....nice!!!

Maybe we could make it all right
We could make it better sometime

Maybe we could make it happen baby
We could keep trying
but things will never change

So I don't look back
Still I'm dying with every step I take
But I don't look back
Just a little, little bit better
Good enough to waste some time
Tell me would it make you happy baby

We could keep trying
but things will never change
So I don't look back
Still I'm dying with every step I take
But I don't look back

We could keep trying
but things will never change
So I don't look back
Still I'm dying with every step I take
But I don't look back

And it hurts with every heartbeat
And it hurts with every heartbeat
And it hurts with every heartbeat
It hurts with every heartbeat

P.S. Love Me :(

What please me?

Rasul Allah, sal Allah alayhi wa sallam, said, "A believing man should not hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with (her other characteristics)."
- Sahih Muslim, Hadith 705

[Lessons from this Hadith]

Focus on what's positive! That which is positive is infinite,and in focusing on it, we are focusing on that which will bring joy to our life. For the next seven days, ask yourself this question at the end of each day, "What are 10 beautiful things that happened to me today?"

Allah's Messenger, sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, said, "You will
be treated the way you treat others."

[Lessons from this Hadith]
Everyone goes around whining that they want to be respected.
But, honestly, how much respect do we serve out to others? Make
a list of all the different ways you want to be treated. When
you are done, you will have a to-do list of how you should treat
people. You've succeeded: you'll be treated back the way you
treated people!

Love, Hope & Fear

I had a plan, I need a muslim man,I want to marry him and be the best wife, the best wife I know I can...insyallah!!

We try to get to know one another again, look past each others fault because we believe that we'll get better as we get older, if when we're young we fall off .so we're back, we're trying to get on our deen, praying to better for ourselves and end each prayer with ameen.

"One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter"
- James Earl Jones

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Dalam sunyi ku bersujud...

Namun harus ku tinggalkan cinta ketika ku bersujud...but i have to leave this love while i'm prostrating...

Arranged marriage..why?


I don't like the thought of arranged marriages. Marriage is all about vowing to spend the rest of your life with that one person,because that is how much you love them and care about them. You can't arrange love, it just happens, and marrying anyone for any reason other than love is just flat out wrong.

How could people force their children to marry someone they arnt interested in. if they are forcing there children to marry someone then obviosly the parents were
forced to marry each other even if they didnt want to so if they didnt like being forced in a marriage then why the hell would they make their children do the same.

I myself, would rather choose a mate, but you guys have to understand that marriage wasn't always about love. Marriage was about finding a birthmate a long time ago. Parents used to match their daughters/sons up with rich mate's so that their
daughters/sons could have a happy time in the house with their mate. Things changed over years and marrage is about love in many places of the world NOW. But, in a lot of places arranged marrage is a way of life, and if an article like this was posted there,they might all say that arranged marrages are sooo much better. I may not feel this way, but you can't just judge an article because of what you believe from where you live and where you're family came from.

I've always seen arranged marriages as old fashioned and inpractical!!!

Gone too soon...


It took me a lot of strenght to write this coz i've lost of words since i heard the news..Another Malaysian most creative pesona had gone peacefully last night.. May Allah Bless her soul...aminn...

The whole industries was stopped breathing for a moment...mourning the lost of the most talented and beautiful person inside out...Our beloved one and only Yasmin Ahmad.. May Allah bless her soul..

I'm still speechless...seriously...all of us gonna miss her deeply and if you wanna know about her creative commercials and films just go to youtube and look for Yasmin Ahmad...and u can see how talented and creative she was and i bet u gonna love her stuffs and May Allah puts her at the right place and may she rest in peace.. Al-Fatihah...

Pergi - Aizat

Sayu terpisah
hikayat indah kini hanya tinggal sejarah
berhembus angin rindu
begitu nyamannya terhidu wangian kasihmu
hujan lebat mencurah kini
bagaikan tiada henti
kaulah laguku kau irama terindah
tak lagi kudengari
kau pergi.. pergi..
sepi tanpa kata
terdiam dan kaku tak daya kau kulupa
apa pun kata mereka
biarkan kenangan berbunga di ranting usia

Saturday, July 25, 2009

9 days to go and i'm still sober


He called!!and we finally had a chat in YM!Alhamdulilah..alhamdulilah..alhamdulilah this is all i need right now!Thank you Allah!!

I've been praying for him to call and he said he has to go to the town just to get internet access...i'm not sure how far was it...but i'm so glad he make an effort to do that..thanks sayang..


Habibi : Sayang!!!
Me : Sayang!!!
Habibi : How r u doin sayang?
Me : i Mish u!!! :(
Habibi : Mish u too!! how r u doin? u didn't tell me the result?
Me : I have another lumps under my armpit
Habibi : Ya Allah!!!
Me : Ya the doctor had classified it as cancer 1st stage but don't worry baby, it can be cure!!! dont' worry eehh!!

Habibi : hah? really?
Me : Ya...i told my mom already
Habibi : Then..
Me : She wants me take care of myself
Habibi : Is she still mad?
Me : not really..but my dad still didn't talk to me :(
Habibi : Insyallah baby everythings will be ok eh...did u go for treatment?
Me : Ya hopefully baby...anyway, hows ur dad?
Habibi : He had broken mom was admitted yesterday..
Me : Ya Allah..
Habibi : Things are really bad here....
Me : Its ok baby...insyallah everythings will be ok eehh..i'll pray for ur parents
Habibi : Wallahi sayang, my mom cries when i told her about u taking care of me are in her prayers sayang...
Me : Wallahi baby, you family are always in my prayers too...send my regards to ur family eeh...and i can't wait to see u sayang!!!
Habibi : Insyallah sayang...i will see u soon...but promise me u wil be fine eh!!!
Me : Insyallah sayang..
Habibi : Pls be fine baby!!U must take care of urself!!! be a good baby girl ok!!
Me : Insyallah sayang!!
Habibi : Pls be fine and take care of urself sayang!!
Me : many times u wanna say that? insyallah i will take care of myself
Habibi : I just want u to be fine pls!!
Me : Baby
Habibi : ya
Me : miss u
Habibi : miss u so much!!

Well, there u goes some of the nice conversations i had with habibi.. :) They are always in my prayers...insyallah things will get better with him there...and can't wait to see him!! Wallahi... i miss him wawa!!!

Ya Allah pls give my man the strenght and pls give this beautiful family a lot of happiness and good in health..amin...

P.S.I Love U More

Friday, July 24, 2009

10 days to go : i'm still sober


He called me yesterday morning...its 12 am in An Nasiriyah and 5am in KL , i was dreaming about him calling me and yes he called me!! Subhanallah!! miss him so much!!! he sound so happy (ya of course!!) and he said everybody was preparing to celebrate his birthday!!! (i cried when i heard that)

Me : 'Happy Birthday sayang!!'
Habibi : 'Thanks baby!!! miss u so much!! (ohh!!! i cried some more!!) that was the only thing i wanna hear from him...

Me : 'i miss u too sayang' 'so happy to hear ur happy voice'
Habibi : 'How's thing in KL?

Me : 'i had slightly fever but its ok not so bad'
Habibi : ' How come?' (he sounds worried) 'You didn't take care of urself eh pagal?' (He always call me pagal (crazy in Hindi) and we called each other 'pagalian' hahahahaha

Me : 'Don't worry baby insyallah i will be fine'
Habibi : 'Sayang, my mom send her regards to u'
Me : 'Send my love to her baby, tell her i love to see her and i wish i can speak arabic and talk to her right now'
Habibi : 'Its ok sayang' 'U take care of ur self ok.. u will be fine kan?'
Me : 'Insyallah sayang Insyallah...

That morning i had high fever and i didn't go to work...i'm on mc for 2 days and i just laying on my bed and pull all my strength to get up to do my zohur and asar...then i laying on the couch...Ya Allah..pls give me strength to get up and go out to get some food!! That's all i asked...i need to eat..i was so hungry and sick.Alhamdulilah i feel much better today..insyallah i go to work soon...

P.S.I Love U

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

13 Days to go : The Last Flight Out

I'm so scared that you will see
All the weakness inside of me
I'm so scared of letting go
That the pain I've hid will show

I know you want to hear me speak
But I'm afraid that if I start to
I'll never stop

[c h o r u s]
I want you to know
You belong in my life
I love the hope
I see in your eyes
For you I would fly
At least I would try
For you I'll take
The last flight out

I'm afraid that
You will leave
As my secrets
Have been revealed
In my dreams
You'll always stay
Every breathing moment from now

I know you want to hear me speak
But I'm afraid that if I start to
I'll never stop

[c h o r u s]

I cannot hold back
The truth no more
I let you wait too long
Although it's hard and scares me so
A life without you scares me more

14 days and i'm still sober!!!


How r u? Sihat? me ok laaa....miss him!!! wuuaa.... hehehee..ya la but not that bad laa i cried one night only..then after that i'm sober .... Alhamdulilah...i'm ok just i worried about him..''

Finally he called!!!! Alhamdulilah...Alhamdulilah...Alhamdulilah..He's in Syria when he called me...and almost burst into tears because the 1st word i heard from him is Sayang!!!!!! Ya Allah..i missed that voice!!He sound so happy and i wish i'm there to see that.. and he said he missed me so much and he want me to be fine and take care of myself and insyallah he'll taking a taxi to Iraq from was 7pm there when he called and its midnight here...He'll move to Baghdad at midnight and insyallah when he reached An Nasiriyah he will call me...and now i'm waiting for that call...just to make sure that he's at his parents home...

Ya..i missed him so much and i hope to see him back in one piece... and i meant it..3 is too crowded..that's all i can say...tell me that i'm selfish yes i am..i hv to..this is what we've focus on our when u say it mean it!!!

Anyway, i don't want to think about that now...all i need is his phn call from his hometown and tell me that he's safe there...and insyallah he'll be back in 2 weeks!!

From now on i will continue fasting until he come back!! and its Rejab and going into Syaaban anyway...i need to fast...for Allah, Rejab to Syaaban and for him to come back safely...insyallah....amiiinn....

Thursday, July 16, 2009

If Today was your last day....

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

Sunday, July 5, 2009

You know what's sad about love?

"Its when u happend to know that there's just no hope for u being together yet u still pray to make it work"

"its when ur mind says let go but ur heart says hold on"

"and most of all, its when no matter how u try to forget him....u just can't, bcoz of the fact that u still love him and u just don't know why"

" Try loving someone you've loved before and u'll realize that it will either lead to the same thing before or something better...Not hard isn't it? but why not try loving someone who doesn't love u back....its either let urself giving up or dying daily.."

" If u love and get more, if u love more and get hurt more then love even more..if u love even more and get hurt even more, love some more until it hurts no more.."

"The gauge of how much u truly treasure something or someone is not how happy u are with them...but how sad u are when u lose them.."

"One grows distant from another not becouse of indifferent but because of fear, Thers's the fear that hurt gets greater as one get closer"

" Falling in love is never a decision - always by chance, Staying in love is never a chance - always by choice and falling out of love is never a choice - always a decision"

"Fate brings u together but its still up to u to make it happen..We may meet someone by choice..but loving and staying with that someone still a choice"

"Just because my eyes don't hv doesn't mean my heart doesn't cry"

"Just because u always see me doen't mean nothings wrong"

"sometime i choose to pretend i am happy so i don't hv to explain to people who would never even understand"

"smiling is always easier then explaining to all why i am sad.."

"It's never the tears that measure the pain...sometimes its the smile we fake"

"A person who truly love u is someone who see the pain in ur eyes ....while everybody believes in the smile on ur face"

"The person who u love most has the best capasity to make u the happiest person in the world and my give u the worst headache then u can never imagine"

"Time can heal wounds but it can never get back what we once had and lost....Time can't tell when or how we would move on after all was said and done..because God gave us time but we never valued this gift He had given us...So learn to treasure the one u choose to love now...because when they go...there won't be time to have them back...."

"In life, i've done everyway of fighting.Heard every painful truth.Been in every heartbreaking scene and felt every dreadful feeling...i thought going thru it all will make me realize that i have to stop the fight at least so save a little for myself ...but u know what's funny? its when i seem to be so much tired of it all..but still i can't just quit no matter how hard it is and i have to continue hoping that one day i'll be able to find someone who could love me not just right but real"

" I don't know why we all hang on to something we know we better off letting go..its like we're scared to lose what we don't even really have.."

"Time may take us may keep us apart..rumours and hurts may break us down...yet no matter where life leads us...i will always be there and never stop caring.."

Cannot touch, Cannot hold, Cannot be together
Cannot love, Cannot kiss, Cannot love eachother
Must be strong and we must let go
Cannot say what our hearts must know

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

Cannot trip, Cannot share sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel, Must pretend it's over
Must be brave and we must go on, Must not say
Wat we no longer long

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

How can I not love you

Must be brave and we must be strong
Cannot say what we no longer long

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

How can I not love you
When you are gone